A great loss

On Friday Sept 5th, I got the call from my parents that I had been waiting for. The wonderful man that I called Grandpa had left this moral existence. Even though I know he is in a better place and is finally free from pain and suffering, he will be greatly missed. He kept telling us that he was ready to go and he finally gave up the day before he turned 90. Thursday night the family got together and gave him a priesthood blessing releasing him from this moral life. That night I had to work but I kept thinking about him and wishing I could be there. In my job I have had several opportunities to help patients be comfortable in their dying process and supporting their families. It was hard to be so far away and not able to do that for my own family. At 3:50 AM, I was in my unconscious patients room and I had an overwhelming spiritual feeling. I could see grandpa's body with my grandma at his side. Then I could see a much younger version of grandpa entering a brilliant bright place, surrounded by familiar faces. They were all so happy. The feeling was so strong that I started to cry (good thing my patient was unconscious). That was not the time that my grandpa actually passed on, but that experience gave me great peace.

I was so grateful that we were able to spend some time with him when we were back home. My parents bought me a plane ticket so I could come home for the funeral. Even though my children were very disappointed that they couldn't come too, I knew it was important for me to be there. Thankfully I have a wonderful, supportive husband who told me to go and he would take care of things here. So I caught a plane the following morning to start my journey home to bury my grandpa. I wasn't sure whether or not I should post this picture, but it is important to me so I thought I'd take a chance. I took it so my kids could be a part of what they missed.
The funeral was beautiful. Each of the 8 children spent 5-10 min sharing their memories and thoughts. I was asked to be part of a group that sang the song "No Empty Chairs". It was one of grandpa's favorites but it's really hard to sing if you really think about the words. I knew I would get up there and just cry, but my dad said if I didn't sing then I would have to find my own way home. (j/k). So we got up there and made it through by just looking at the music instead of the audience and not thinking about what you were really singing. One highlight at the funeral was being able to hear the testimony of my grandpa, in his own voice. My aunt Darlene taped both my grandparents bearing their testimonies and played them for us. It was powerful to hear his voice testifying to us one more time. Almost every time we saw him he would tell us to live the commandments, follow the prophet, and stay out of debt. Then he would ask us if we had gained weight because we were looking a little fat. :)
The handsome man on the end with the sun glasses is my daddy. He is the oldest brother and really seemed to take charge of pulling the large family together. Out of the 8 children there are 52 grandchildren and 107 great grandchildren. We filled up most of the church with just family. What was an unexpected surprise was that most of my cousins did the same things that I did, came without their families. I got to sit and visit with cousins that I haven't seen or been able to sit and talk with for quite awhile. I almost felt like a kid at thanksgiving, running around with my cousins. Even though I really missed having my children with me, it was nice not to have to worry about where they were or chasing Cord around.
My grandpa grew up on the Arizona strip and truly loved that area. He would have love to have been buried there, but instead he was buried in St. George where they had already purchased a space. To try and make up for it, my Aunt Darlene brought a bucket of dirt from the strip. We all got to take turns shoveling the special dirt in the space under the casket. That way grandpa will at least get to rest on the part of the land that was so special to him. Grandma got to lay down the first spoonful. Kennedy was kind enough to drip a spoonful of dirt for each of my kids. She is so thoughtful.
Even though my time in St. George was short, I loved getting to spend it with my two beautiful sisters. Maria (on left) had just moved to San Diego and brought her family up for the occasion. Amber (right) is lucky enough to be there in St. George and keeps my parents from going completely crazy with the family spreading out. When I look at the relationship that we all share now, I have hope that my girls will one day be best friends. Things weren't so rosy when we were growing up, but we all love being together now. I'm sorry that I didn't have time to connect with my friends and I hope that you'll forgive me if I didn't stop and see you. I only had 2 days and most of that was time spent with family.
I truly love my grandma and my heart goes out to her. It's really hard to see her without grandpa by her side. They have been together for 68 years. You just don't see love like what they shared much anymore. They were always together at every family function that they could get to. She is a strong lady but I know things will be hard without her beloved companion.

If you want to know more about my fantastic grandpa, here's the link to his obituary.
http://www.thespectrum.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20080908/OBITUARIES/809080327/1023/NEWS17